Currently I am reading a best seller of today’s time “Sapiens” by Yuval Nova Harari.This book is all about the history of mankind, how evolution started, stages and struggles and the journey how we reached here today. It’s an interesting read by the way. Couple of intriguing facts caught my eyes specifically where human characteristic is explained beautifully.Human,by birth are polygamous, since foragers times. During Stone Age, human used to be in tribes and any male or female can mate with any number of opposite sex,within the tribe. No restriction or rule was imposed to anyone. Anthropologists have many proofs stating this fact indeed.
While reading this specific phenomenon, thoughts about “Modern human” directives came to my mind. We live in a society where emotional imbalance is pretty much evident now a days.The more we are evolving in science and technology,emotional bonds are getting more complicated.We stress ourselves too much for finding “True Love” and we have issues on commitment,loyalty, trust the list goes on.
If biologically we are made Polygamous,then why our social obligations are restricted to be only “Monogamous”?
What is “true love” then and does it exist really?
One fact I have realised, it’s rare to find a person who loved only once and only one person. Except Rama from Ramayana, the epic Indian mythology, I dnt know anyone to stick to a single love, man to be precise. Personally, I feel, we have exaggerated the definition of “Love” and for that matter may be “True Love”.
Love is all situational now a days, you meet a person, you feel the same frequency(click) and you start connecting more(chatting online mostly).Till the excitement of exploration is available, you feel the rhythm of love and once it ceases, problem starts and your hunt for “True Love” resumes once again. This is the real picture for everyone now a days. I am not trying to find any loophole in this whole thing. My question is why to raise concern about it,when this is what has been followed since our ancestral era. There is nothing new that people are doing now untill they find the right partner to settle down.
Another interesting fact I found in the book, which is bit contradictory of present belief. In our present society, women are bit more obsessed with their partners with lot of insecurity, than men in general. No matter how qualified the women is or how amazingly intelligent she is,most of the women are insecure when it comes to our partner. It’s not a generalised statement, just my own observation. However, the story was completely contradictory during Stone Age time. As both males and females were allowed to mate with any number of partner, males were in-secured about their “Gene-transfer” to their off spring. Males were not quite sure if the child inherited his gene only. Female genes are passed on to the child anyhow, which gave an upper edge to them in a relationship. I feel, even today, females should be aware of this phenomenon and can eliminate insecurity to a great extent !!!
There is a basic human need in terms of relationship.Human, may not be monogamous by nature, however, they settle for the right person in their life.The actual feeling of “Love” happens for only once and it stays with him or her forever. At times if they miss it, they keep on searching for similar traits in next partners. Even if they settle with someone incompatible, yet search doesn’t end. May be that’s what “True Love” is !!! It comes to you naturally,all you need to identify and value with respect. This bond never diminishes with time, distance or any other thing.This is very much true for everyone 😊
It’s an important reality about life , you don’t need to chase “True Love”, it will stay if it’s yours. If it is not staying then it is never true love, it’s Infatuation, it’s mere attachment.The real partner who is in love with you, never leaves you or put you in any difficult situation. More than words, their actions will define their love for you.I do agree, words are necessary too,but actions speak more than words always.
Men or Women,feelings are important for all. I read hundreds of poems,quotes and blogs on broken hearts daily. Even if we say, we are strong and independent,when it comes to love and relationship,people tend to forget who they are at times.Distant objects allure human rather than which is at present.People realise value of love when it goes away from them.
As I always say, I am just an observer and analyser of simple facts about life, be it mine or my dear ones. Having been there and done that, it’s my ultimate feeling that Love should be in a way,your partner feels free to be with you, like your best friend. He or she should be your secret keeper and partner in crime. Though it’s rare,I am sure,there are examples even at present times.
Be it monogamy or polygamy, human settle for only one at the end, irrespective of how many people they date. If you have already found your “Best Friend” please hold onto them tightly with affection.In case, if you are still in process of “Soulmate searching”, please don’t settle until you find your “Bestie”. This will eliminate many more troubles occurrence in your future life.
Keep Smiling and have a blessed life 😊😊😊