Envision !!!!

This unending long route,

This journey,

And my companions,

Lush green limits,

Sunlight Peeping through the horizons,

Alluring with soft touch of Sunrays,

Welcoming the brand new day,

Have I started smiling once again,

In whirlpool of my dreams ahead,

I touch the waves,

Deposing my reflection from within,

And once again,

I am letting myself drowned in ocean,

Searching for my unresolved answers.

Inside me the war is still alive,

I donot know the goal I am heading towards,

Let go of the love, Let be pragmatic somehow,

Someday love, Someday friendship,

Or attachment at times may be.

My dreams puzzle me down,

Am I not wise enough to count my blessings,

Am I only focusing what the world denied me,

Perhaps Yes,

May be No,

My restless mind ponders my perplex heart.

And I dnt feel lonely anymore,

Nor do I can’t stop being unhappy.

Love hurts, So does the expectation,

Nothing is real, Neither people Nor bondings,

It is just a phase to blew in moments.

And we move on,

We start a fresh,

We fall in love again,

And we feel accomplished.

My life, My rules and My dreams,

All falling into places one by one,

And I am here to cherish,

Each moment,

Each phase and,

Each feeling,

Forever and Once again 😍😍😍

Mystery or Perplexity !!!

Do you believe in God?

Do you believe in Ghost?

Do you believe in Karma?

I guess I believe in all of them. I have not seen either god or ghost, yet I love god and I am hell scared of ghost🙈🙈.While talking about “karma”, I feel everyone gets what he/she deserves, may not immediately but eventually.

Coming back to beliefs,do you feel “dream”has some underneath meaning too?

I read articles about various types of dreams and their meanings. Honestly, I never believed them and did not really follow either.

But something happened in my life once which was like a “State of Shock” kind of experience.

I am really not so certain if dream has some meaning or its just an illusion of our thinking, let’s find out in my real life story.

I was talking to Shreya(Name changed) and we were discussing about our college lives. We both studied engineering from same city, though different colleges. Before engineering, we attended same tuition classes for engineering exams. So, though we were not very close friends yet we had a long history together. We both used to travel by train during semester breaks as we belonged to same university and our exams were at same time.

Shreya was in a relationship since college days only and her boyfriend too studied in the same college, Rishabh( Name changed). After engineering, they did MBA together too and eventually got married.

I got placed in Mumbai after engineering and got settled. Shreya and Rishabh were employed in some MNC in Bangalore too.

I met Shreyas after really really long. In this era of social media,we are updated about each other without meeting for ages. But, girls are girls always, so we started our chatter box immediately after meeting. Our conversation was in full throttle, suddenly, a call came,

“Hello, Shreya here, What !!!! Where is he???”

“How it happened” Shreya screamed in total shock.Someone informed Rishabh met an accident and was with serious injury. We both hurried immediately where he was admitted. The moment we entered the hospital, I got froze !!! Rishabh was no more !!!! I could see his lifeless body lying in front of me !!!

I woke up with a Jerk, sweated and shivering.

For few moments,I could not realise it was a nightmare. I looked at the wall clock, it’s 5AM.

I just sighed off feeling it was just a dream.

Mornings are very busy in office specially on Monday. I reached office and started cleaning my weekend mess of mails. My office boy served my most desired hot cup of tea and I was kind of lost in my work.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to connect with Shreya and just to check if Rishabh is fine. I have not spoken to her like more than 5 years now and I am not so frequent in Facebook either. I remembered seeing her few photographs of someone’s marriage party. Anyways, I did not have her no, I opened Facebook to check her profile and message.

My most “In shock” heart beat I felt within a second. My breathing felt short and Yes, this feeling had no name !!!!

My mobile phone fell down on my desk, I started trembling, I am in total traumatic phase.

Shreya was no more !!!

She passed away couple of months back due to cancer.

No one would believe,while writing this, I am getting goosebumps.

I felt total numb, I was blank and my mind stopped working all sudden.

For almost 10 minutes, I was out of this world.

I got my senses back, dialled my office bestie, she came running and took me downstairs.

It’s a true story, happened to me couple of years back. I clearly remembered the dream I saw a day back. My science, my logic and my philosophy, all took back seat at a moment.

I tried to find out in many ways, to connect these dots. Still searching the answer.

“Dream” is still a mystery for me. I love god and I am scared of ghost like I said. But this incident can’t be a mere coincidence. It has to have some meaning out of it.

Life is very unpredictable and we do not realise until we get our “Epiphany” moment.

I wrote to Rishabh about this nightmare and he replied too.

I have experienced few life death moments in my life and every incident taught a new lesson. Still this “Coincidence” puzzles me always.

Does “Dream” has some underneath meaning!!!

Did “Shreya” wanted to convey some message !!!

Or it’s just a mere illusion of my thoughts!!!

Still thinking and still searching answers.

Ni Hao “Shanghai”

Travelling is a therapy and is a bliss.

My father used to travel a lot for work. Every time he returned from a new place, there was a new story about the place, people and the journey. Listening to those stories,Somehow, my love for travel grew organically since childhood only.

Like father, like daughter, I too chose a profession which requires lots of travelling,like 15days a month may be. Sounds hectic right, but I love it this way only. Apart from job, I keep roaming on my own too time to time.

Recently, I visited China for work and stayed at Shanghai for few days. It was a wonderful trip with lots of new experiences altogether.

I am going to share only the highlights of my trip here.

Shanghai is the commercial centre of China and the country’s most cosmopolitan city. If you are a nature lover then this city is a big no for you. This city is full of skyscrapers and man made artificialities. It’s a hub for shopaholics in one word. You will find every brand here with numerous varieties. Places to visit in Shanghai and nearby areas are very few indeed. I stayed in Nanjing east road which is the centre point of the city and east to commute other places.

For commutation, taxi is always available here but they are way more expensive you can think of. The cheapest and fastest way is metro. It’s very convenient and easy to understand.

Coming to communication, I found it bit challenging. Very few people understand and speak English. I was staying in a five star hotel at the central location, yet communicating with the hotel staff was a task actually.

Bund:

The Bund, also called Waitan, is a famous waterfront on the west bank of Huangpu river and regarded as the symbol of Shanghai. It’s the heart of the city and a must see. Here, the charm of Shanghai as a bustling metropolis combining the century-old history and flourishing future is fully presented amazingly.its one of the beautiful skyline I have ever seen till now.

Yu Garden

Also called “the garden of happiness”. Basically this garden is famous for attractive little pavilions, decorative stones and miniature mountain ranges, dividing walls and small ponds, and even a richly decorated theatrical stage.

If you ask me personally, you may skip to visit this one.

If you love shopping like me, the route to the garden is a delight for you. The whole road is full of shops and eateries of all ranges of products. Must try is the Turkish ice cream show.(video attached below)

Zhouzhuang Water Town

It’s another popular tourist spot of Shanghai. The town is built amid canals, ponds, and lakes and markets around the canal. You can opt for a boat ride through out the canal, stop by near markets and come back. This place is bit far off from Nanjing and metro is the cheapest way to reach.Again, the whole road towards canel is full of markets for shopping. I tried few food variants, it’s different and healthy.

Nanjing Road

Nanjing Road features over 600 business including massive modern multi-level shopping malls, historic stores, theatres, world-class hotels, attractions and much more. I stayed here only during my whole trip. This place is a hub for almost everything. During weekends, it’s so crowded that feels like you are in some huge fair. (Video attached for a traffic signal stop). It’s impossible to shop here in a day or two as the whole road is full of numerous varieties of things.

The “Food”

I am a big “ Foodie” and I love to try new dishes in a new city. Chinese cuisine consists of mainly rice and noodles with sauce and soup.During my Shanghai trip, I tried few dishes here and there. Food is very healthy due to minimum usage of oil & other spices. Variety of food available but mostly very blended. Being Indian and habituated of spicy food, it was bit difficult for me to cope up.

Again, if you are vegetarian, then you have very few options here. The food market is full of pork and beef mostly, chicken at few places.

Being from northeast, I found food habit similarities in certain aspects. We are rice eaters and we do not prefer much oil and spices either,just like Chinese people.

Chinese Massage:

I heard a lot about Chinese massage before and wanted to indulge in once.I went for a 1 hour massage session which cost me 5k in INR. Sounds expensive right, but it’s worth. The whole procedure of massaging and putting pressure at points did wonders. I actually fell asleep during massage 😄😄

So these are few places I visited during this short trip

As I already said, travelling is a therapy. It works for me and I am sure does for everyone else.

Trust me, every trip teaches something new about life, sometimes from people and at times from stories within. This short trip to Shanghai was one good trip ever. Chinese people are normally slim with fair complexion. They are helpful but language is a big barrier most of the times.

So this is my story of “Shanghai” from my glance,opinion and suggestion. Hope you like it !!!

Daydream !!!

Silent nights and mind full thoughts,

What I left behind and,

Where I am heading to,

What I did wrong and,

Where was I perfectly right.

Rekindling the unfinished story,

Mingling between truth and lies,

Unable to decide upon,

Am I the “Morning dew”on summer leaf,

The beauty fades away in daytime.

Gone days smiled at me,

Darling,

You have been lucky,

Like a long spell of rain,

Right after you plant rice.

But no one told you,

About the painful draught,

When clouds are adamant to pour.

And no one warned you,

The unstoppable spurt of all over,

When the cloud bursts.

Like an old saying,

You love too much and you trust too much,

And it seems you get hurt too much.

I wish,

I can be so caught up today,

The agony fails to catch up with me.

And with those frozen droplets in my eyes,

I am drowning and learning,

To live under these waves.

My Present folds his hands with mine,

Filling the gaps of my fingers with his,

Dear, you have come a long way,

And you have miles to go,

It’s your journey alone,

You are here to accomplish.

Days become nights and,

Nights are dark,

As long as the sun returns,

So does hope and so does life ❤️❤️❤️

Few More Steps Towards “A Decade”

Today’s date, 30th October, 2008.

I peeped through the window glasses of kingfisher airline; all lights around, glitters, sparkles and everything. I could feel the reflection and rejoice in my eyes; my dreams, my aspirations and my ambitions ;

And landed here, “Mumbai” city of dreams !!!!!

Yes, it’s the same day, back in 2008.

A girl from the “ Northeast Hills” stepped into this concrete city with “Big dreams” in her eyes and desire to mark her existence creating new opportunities .

That’s me 😄😄😄

Many faces, phases, learning, relationships, countless talks Small and big and those 11 years !!!

I am being nostalgic !!!

“I love Mumbai” and I am a true “Mumbaikar”.

This city taught me which no one could ever did. I tried, I failed, I rose again, defeated, frustrated, happy, sad, angry, cry and I rejoice every emotion here.

I was a fresh engineering graduate then and my goal was to do a job in a corporate firm and make my parents happy.It was that simple !!!

I look back at my younger self and smile 😊

I was innocent but dreamy,

I wanted to be independent but polite,

I believed in hard work in a smart way,

I was friendly and I still am,

I trusted people then and till now !!!

It was a roller coaster journey and my destiny is not yet clear. But honestly, I knew one thing about myself,

I knew and I know what I am good at and I always stick to it only.

11 years is no joke and I have come a long way.

This city gave me everything I desired ; career, relationship, friends, fame,ambition to grow and count is still on.

I wish I could say these words to my younger self:

• I know you want to be happy and make everyone happy always and in all ways. But please do remember, you are responsible for your own happiness ,so try to achieve that first.

• It’s good you see world with positive vibe but also remember there are white walls behind every rosy glasses. Try to understand those blank walls first.

• Trust is important and it’s the basic of all. Please trust yourself first before trusting others.

• Most importantly, always follow your instincts. Trust me, it never ever goes wrong.

• And I know you put yourself in everyone’s shoes to analyse any situation. Sometimes, let others wear your shoes as well. It will help you.

• Also remember, if you would fight for someone hard, make sure they would fight for you as hard !!!!

I am neither a celebrity nor a famous personality to have followers of my life instances.

As I always say, these are my tales based on numerous experiences of life.

Celebrating my completion of 11 years in this big city and thanking each and everyone for being part of this wonderful journey🙏🙏🙏

To summarise, few lines from one of my favourite poem of “Robert Frost”

“WOODS ARE LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP,

BUT I HAVE PROMISES TO KEEP,

AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP,

AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP”

Will you “Trust”ever again !!!!

Scene 1:

The medical store is one of the busiest spot of this area. In Mumbai, medical stores are not only to be meant for medicine and they keep all stuffs like general stores as well. So, people come to buy every day to day things here.

I was a resident of Bandra then and this particular store was next to my residence. So, while coming back from office, I used to stop by and buy my daily necessary things.

It was during summer days of 2011. As usual, Mumbai was very humid and it was evening rush hour around 7PM. I stopped by the store to buy few cosmetics and the shopkeeper just greeted me asking how my day was. I was a regular customer and the shopkeeper used to chat with me. The store was bit crowded, I took my things and stood in payment counter for my turn. Suddenly, I realised, there was some kind of argument going on with a customer and the sales guy was on top of his voice. I looked at the old fellow standing in front ; pale and sweaty face, wrinkles around eyes and forehead. His glance was vague and the reason, he had no money to pay for the medicine he wanted. I stared for few seconds,

“let him take medicines Dada, I will pay” it was my voice. I just felt bad for him, he turned his head towards me, looked at my eyes, I read “ Thank you” in his eyes.

Scene 2:

Local train is the lifeline for Mumbaikars. No matter how many trains govt keeps introducing, locals are always crowded, specially rush hours. Most of the traveller use monthly passes for train as it’s relatively cheaper and you save lot of time skipping ticket counter queue.

I was in hurry as always, almost running towards the platform in Andheri station. Suddenly, I realised my monthly pass expired, I stopped running.

My father worked in Indian railways and that too in vigilance.So,as a matter of fact,I never travel in train without a ticket.

I went to the ticket counter and waited for my turn to buy the pass. I was listening to music and was playing something in mobile.

“Excuse me Miss” the guy standing ahead of me, I removed the earphones, “yes?”

“Can you please borrow me Rs 30?” He asked. I looked at him, he is tall, fair and in a black suit. Unless you are attending some corporate affair, no one in Mumbai wears suit at any point of time.

“Sorry?” my eyebrows raised.

“I am going for a seminar at Hyatt and I just realised I forgot my wallet, I have no money to reach, can you please help me?? It’s a very important event for me” I got bit confused.

Rs 30 is not a big deal, “ Why will he lie for such small amount” my inner voice said to me.

“Ok fine, take it” I did not want to waste time in thinking much.He shaked my hands in gratitude.

I reached my place and narrated the whole thing to my roommate. “ He simply cheated you duffer, this is a common trick here”. My roommate burst into laughter. My face became blank.

Summary:

These are two simple incidents happened many years back. Whenever I try to analyse both situations, I see similarities. My question is how to define “ Trust” in both cases. Both of them were needy and I helped out of humanity.

It’s an old saying” never trust anyone”, I agree completely.

But, is it really possible to make a simple step in life without trust or without expectation?

We all make mistakes in life, face broken trust, lies etc etc. However, even after that, do we really stop trusting people again?? Do we really stop expecting from our relationships???

It’s a NO!!!

Life is all about love, trust , bond and expectation from each other till eternity.

We learn from mistakes, forgive and move on.

Life is beautiful, let’s cherish it’s beauty and enjoy each moment with gratitude 😊😊😊

You are the one !!!

2B22C301-1662-44DA-BA14-7CF83269A749 Dear,

Am I in my sweetest dream,

Or you are for real sure.

My restless mind is just all about you,

Wondering it’s my illusion or hallucination,

My eyes are shut and my heart is open,

Thinking it all over again and again,

Yes I agree in discreet,

You are too good to be true !!!

I remember the sunshine we met first,

Our eyes talked more than our words,

You laughed at my every silly joke,

And I listened all your funny stories too.

Tell me dear,

Was it love at the first sight for you,

Or this is how we bonded within moment.

Times stopped around us,

Every moment we spent together,

And before we knew each other,

Our souls were already tied forever.

I do not remember,

Anyone looking at me,

The way you stare all time,

And I blush in pink and red,

From the inner core of my heart.

Your unruly touch,

And your utmost possessiveness,

Your insecurity,

And your unending pamper,

I feel your warmth all around,

I miss your fragrance when you are far,

You are a gem like no one,

Your innocent face keeps me awake all night.

Trust me dear,

I can’t stop being agreed anymore,

Forever and ever,

Like I said,

You are too good to be true ❤️❤️❤️

A closed chapter !!!

A53CC2C8-096F-4DD3-98B3-E284E843FFB4

In the midst of these chaos around,

My still mind ponders my heart,

What was I even thinking then,

When was I getting pushed behind,

And how did I put my trust so much,

Why did I fall in love again?

I was in my la la land,

Unable to draw the line in between,

“Love is trust” I believed forever,

Tried to find happiness in all small things.

Love is never an issue though trust is,

Yet I wonder how to love without trust.

I was a open book for you,

You read each page and each sentence,

You noted every important para,

Assuring you will never let it happen again.

I rewind,

My pages,

My words and sentences,

Realising you just knew where it hurts the most.

Tell me please,

Why I am suffering your karma,

Why my wounds not healing,

How could you wear a mask for so long,

When did you change chapters of your book??

I remember,

My innocence when I listened to your lies,

My worries when you were late,

My love for you whenever you needed.

It was easy for you to break me into pieces,

And never look back again,

You hurt my inner core,

And shook me up all over again.

I look up and seek my answers,

What was I even thinking then,

When was I getting pushed behind,

And how did I put my trust so much,

Why did I fall in love again?

i guess

. . .

sometimes i wonder if i was wrong, all along

i guess, i could never really understand anyone just by looking at them or feeling their words

but i did feel it in their eyes and i could feel what i felt, but i guess, i was wrong

i mistook their inability to let me know the truth;
to think, i was helping
but i guess, i was really not

but were all those smiles, moments, but a hoax and meant really nothing? i guess, they were

oh how i thought all of it was but genuine only for the innocence to me, ask them, if oh they will go try something with me, that oh they never have

but how i wish i knew, that their denial or plans were just so they could avoid

oh i guess, i was wrong about every thing, for i guess, i dont seem…

View original post 150 more words

Conscience🙂🙂🙂

I wish it was that easy,

It takes a part of me, perhaps the whole of it,

Unable to grasp the idea,

Where to put a full stop,

Over thinking mind or my overwhelming heart.

I am way too busier these days,

Ever waited shining goals seems closer now,

Working hard day and night to touch the sky,

My brain keeps computing the game of numbers,

Feels like I am having no breathing space at times.

Even then, my inner self making me tired,

Why these notions do not die out,

What was the need for all illusions,

When my all trusts started degrade,

And who is to be blamed for all.

People come and go, memories don’t,

You get the person or a lesson for life,

Easy to ignore thoughts but not feelings,

And trust broken can never be regained again.

Me and my thoughts,

We play hide and seek all time,

We both know “love is a loosing game”

And we still love to feel it again and again.

“Time heals everything” so does love,

A bad chapter opens hope for a better life,

All we need to become “ Wiser”,

To embrace and enjoy,

“The magic of a new beginning”

❤️❤️❤️